COMMUNITY forget it you idiot. Susie:Don’t worry,

COMMUNITY SERVICE: THE THEATER CAST enters onstage, from the left wing, stage is full of trash, dirty. Theater seating. Warden:Welcome to your community service today, delinquents. Susie:Wow, Warden. This place sure is dirty. Julia:What is this place, anyway? Harry:It’s a theater. Julia:A theater? I thought movie theaters had screens and soft seating… Harry:I like popcorn they serve at the movies.. Warden:It’s not that kind of theatre you nincompoops. It’s a play theater. Julia:Play theater? Where they play what? Warden:Oh, forget it you idiot. Susie:Don’t worry, Warden. I’ll explain it to her. Warden:Don’t even bother. Just get to cleaning. Susie:So what are we supposed to do? Warden:Clean the place. Susie:What for? Warden:So Julia can play.  Julia:Really? WARDEN:No! Now get to work.                     (Heads off)Watch em, Harry. Gotta run to the store. Harry:Yes, sir. I got my eye on them.                     (Follows WARDEN off) Warden: (turns around)Get back in there! Harry                     (Stops quickly)Yes, sir, General, sir. Julia:What a jerk. Harry:Sorry about that. He gets that way when he doesn’t get his coffee. Julia:What happened to his coffee? Harry:I don’t know. I brought him a cup like always and put it up in the front seat and after I got the props in here, and it disappeared. Julia: Hmm, wonder where it went.  Harry:                     ((Sees a boy (RONALD) drinking coffee))What are you drinking?                     (RONALD ignores him)I’m talking to you.                     (To JULIA)What’s his problem? What’s his name?? Julia:I don’t know.  Harry:You don’t know?   Harry: (pointing to RONALD)You, boy! Stop drinking that. It isn’t for your Ronald: (rude tone)My name is ronald. Julia: (sarcastically, quiet)Im guessing he likes to be called by his name. Harry:You mean simple minded? Julia: (sarcastic)Good one. Harry:He has to the stupidest                     (Turns and RONALD is in his face)Person that ever walked the earth.                     (RONALD goes back to drinking the general’s coffee and piddling around)Why is he even here?                     (RONALD gives him a dirty look)whatever. Julia:                     (Trying to be friendly to RONALD)Who are you? I’ve never seen you working community service for the Warden before.                     (RONALD gives her a really dirty look)Uh okay.. nevermind                     (RONALD sneers and goes back to cleaning) Harry:Well I guess we should get to work (EVERYONE starts to pick up trash, clean) Julia: (speaking to HARRY)How is your mother now?  Harry: She’s okay, memory still fading.  Julia:                   Really? I’m sorry to hear that. Harry:It’s okay. I always thought I would be married by now and my mother would be enjoying grandchildren. Julia:I think you will find the right girl, Harry. Susie:We all think you will. (SUSIE winks at JULIA)                     (RONALD smirks at this) Julia:Maybe the right woman is right before your eyes and you don’t even know. Harry:                     (Looks at JULIA longingly)One could only hope Ronald:Wow, that was sweeter than that coffee. Susie:If you guys want to go get “lunch” (SUSIE makes air quotes, inferring they should go on a date)I’ll keep an eye on things here. Harry:              (defensive)I have no clue what you’re talking about. Susie:I thought you guys were about to pick out china patterns. Harry:Back to work, or, or I’ll.. Ronald:Or what? (mean tone) Harry:I’ll go get the Warden. Julia:Leave Harry alone. Ronald: (sarcastic)He sure is real nice.I think you are his favorite though.. (genuine, winks at JULIA)                     (Harry is uncomfortable)He’s blushing. Ha! I guess they think we must be pretty lightweight if they send Harry to lead us. Susie:WellI know the Julia and I are. (irritated at RONALD)Ronald, you are definitely the most difficult. We are here for community service not to back talk. Julia: (whispers to Susie)What’s Ronald here for? RonaldCome on. I’m innocent. I shouldn’t be here. Julia:I wish I was innocent. Ronald:So what did you do? Julia:Shoplifting. Ronald:Shoplifting. That’s it? Susie:When you get caught with expensive stuff, it’s a bit more serious. Ronald: (scoffs)What did you steal? Susie:She got caught with enough clothes to open her own chain of stores. Julia:I’m sorry but I like fashion, sheesh. Ronald:So if I wave something shiny will you chase it? Julia: (tone is guilty)probably.. Ronald:I had a friend like that once. Until he stole my grandpas vintage rolex, and made off with it, buying a one way ticket to London.                      (JULIA stops listening and starts sweeping and cleaning again) Susie:Wonder how he got so far without being caught. I didn’t even make it pass the border of Canada before I got caught with blackmarket phones and got sent back to the good old red white and blue.                    Harry:More work and less talk. Ronald:Hey, my break ain’t over yet. Harry:You can’t have a break until you start working. Ronald:                     (puts an old wrapper in the trash)How’s that? Harry:You want me to get the Warden and tell him how you have been misbehaving? Ronald:I wouldn’t if I was you. Remember last time you called him out of that cats and coffee cafe down the street? He was pissed! Who would’ve thought a tough guy like that would like kittens and a crappy cup of joe . (chuckles to himself)   Harry:                     (snarky tone)He was, but a chance to extend your community service? The Warden would love it. Julia:Oh no Harry, don’t worry. We’ll work.                     (JULIA keeps cleaning as does SUSIE, gives RONALD a dirty look) Susie:                     (While working)So Ronald. What you in for?                     (Ronald ignores her and actually starts to clean)Sorry, what are you “falsely” accused of? (sarcastic) Ronald:They say I was a repeat graffiti artist, tagging buildings but I don’t think they had enough evidence to convict. Julia:Why would you tag buildings? What’s the point? Ronald:Who knows? I didn’t do it! Susie:He’s not wearing a yellow jumpsuit so he didn’t kill anybody! (laughs)                     (RONALD rolls his eyes at SUSIE) Ronald:…yet                     (JULIA, afraid, moves and cleans closer to HARRY) Julia:So why are we cleaning this theatre? Harry:Warden got this special funding for what he calls “Drama Therapy”. Who knows it all sounds like a bunch of you-know-what.  Julia:Drama therapy? Where’s the therapy in this? (confused) Susie:Are we going to do anything besides clean this place? Harry:Uh, not that I know of. I saw two things. A envelope with money for the beginning of the program, and the other was instructions for you lawbreakers to clean up this theater for the drama therapy users. Susie:So the warden gets money from the city officials, and then gets money again from the state. The city gets a cleaned up theater and we get to serve our community service for our crimes too. Ronald:I heard of that drama therapy foo foo stuff before, why would they choose to do it? I don’t think it would work. Harry:Sorry, I can’t tell you guys anything.                     (HARRY turns away and SUSIE pushes JULIA over to him) Julia:Please, Harry. Could you maybe tell me a something about what you heard? Harry:Well, I’ll tell you, Julia. (looks around nervously, doesn’t realize RONALD is right behind him) I heard that the warden is doing this to get a little media attention. See, we got a new community service member coming. Julia:Who? Harry:I really shouldn’t be telling you, she’s really famous. Julia:Please, Harry (bats her eyelashes)I won’t tell a soul.Harry: (flustered)Well, it’s Mandy Blacc. Ronald: (super excited)MANDY BLACC! No way! Harry:Oh jesus, I shouldn’t have said anything. Ronald:She’s like super famous. I love her music Harry: (defensive)DO NOT tell anyone I told you. Ronald:What will you pay me for my oath of silence, big guy? Harry:                     (Looks around nervously)What do you want? Ronald:You know that donut shop around the corner? Harry:Ugh, what do you want, Ronald. Ronald: (excited)I want 3 glazed donuts, 2 chocolate long johns, and a bottle of white milk. MMM-MM!  Susie:I can’t remember the last time I had a donut. Ronald:Go get me those donuts or I will tell the Warden that you slipped some important information, to your little felon girlfriend. Harry: (sighs)I can’t leave you all alone. If the Warden found out–   Julia: (cuts HARRY off)Don’t worry, Harry. We won’t go anywhere. We’re green shirts. We’re aren’t unsafe. HarryFine. I will be right back. DO NOT move.

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