You, flustered by compliments and hardly defensive

You, reading this essay, asked me to define who I am and I laugh at the silly question.  I am many things and also just one thing.  But I am not just a thing that is lying around, like a pen or a toaster.  I am much more than that.  I am a living, breathing thing that can write with a pen and make toast with a toaster.   You could say that because I don’t believe in defining myself that I am foolishly avoiding the question.  Well, according to a mirror, I am a short 17-year-old girl with jet black hair hanging down my back.  I have a wide nose nestled in between a pair of two bright brown eyes.  I am not sexy nor beautiful to look at.  I am what the kids like call “cute” or “adorable”.  When people first meet me they always say that I have a meek and innocent demeanor with a hint of social awkwardness.  I am a senior who is always mistaken for a freshman.  I am easily flustered by compliments and hardly defensive by insults.   I am introverted, but at the same time, I am no lone wolf.  I am the opposite, in fact.  And by the opposite, I do not mean a trusting lamb.  No.  I am a cautious shepherd.  I am a leader who is compassionate, who feels for others and has empathy for those in need.   People know me by many different words.  In elementary school, I was impulsive.    I thought the world revolved around me.  I remembered going on adventures and exploring what the world has to offer.  Spending hours on end chasing the clouds and watching ants march up a hill.  In middle school, I was artistic.  I began developing a passion for cinematography.  I spend many days carrying a camera and waiting for the world to explode through the lens.  Countless days were occupied by filming and sleepless nights were devoted to editing.  In high school, I was perseverant.  I went through a year of hardship and loss.  I was afraid, stressed and desperate.  But a certain somebody taught me how to be courageous in the face of danger.  I preserved and attained victory against my fears.   I am “daughter” and I am “sister” and I am “friend”.  I have a family that includes a cheesy father, an estranged mother, one hot-headed brother and two spoiled sisters.  I have friends that call me careless, oblivious and dumb. Nevertheless, I love them all.  Above all the listed “I am-s” the title that has given me the most pleasure is being called “student”.  I am someone who works tirelessly to achieve success.  I am not smart, gifted or lucky, for I compensate what I lack with pure grit.  Each grade I receive is a reflection of my ability.  Mathematics, science, English, history, art, physical education and religion has helped shape the person I am today.  Mathematics and science taught me diligence.  To never give up despite the difficulty of certain concepts, like implicit differentiation or the conservation of momentum.  English and history made me respect the awe-inspiring power of humanity.  Art fostered the creative side that has been flourishing since middle school.  Physical education established a somewhat competitive aspect of my personality.  Religion showed me how to love with my body, my heart, and my soul.  To love me, the community and most importantly, God.   The way I see myself is not how the world sees me.  The people I meet, the things I do and the thoughts I have is what defines me.

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I'm Eleanor!

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